Imagine
yourself driving your own car while hurrying to a very special appointment or in
a ‘take it or leave it’ business meeting when suddenly you saw the stop light
from green to yellow turning red -- 80 kph transformed into 100 kph. Two
circumstances await you, either you will beat the red light or you will lose
the deal. Which of which will you choose?
In our world,
beating the red light isn’t good to hear. Yes, it’s a traffic violation.
Indeed, there’s an appropriate sanction when you commit it. But what is this
‘beating the red light’ means for us, Christians? Especially for those UMYF who
attended the Christmas Institute 2015? :)
This red light
represents everything that stops us from growing and doing the will of God for
us. Personally, I don’t have any idea on how God will reveal what He wants me
to learn in this CI. This is one of the drawbacks of being a staff – you’re so
busy to the point that sometimes, you’re not able to attend on some sessions.
But God is faithful, He moved far beyond what I imagined. He moved in different
ways. And I love those. He made me experienced those red lights during the CI
itself.
·
The
Red Light of Complaints
No beddings and
utensils provided, not enough comfort rooms for the delegates, not enough rice,
very hot weather, too early dawn watch, so tiring sessions, too far rooms from
the session hall, and other complaints I heard from other delegates and some
were from myself. But, CI is not a vacation time anyway or not a sacrificial
retreat either. It’s definitely one of the great times to know more of God and
have fellowship with His people.
The
Red Light of Expectations
Before CI, some of
us expect that there will be a time for us to unwind and escape from this world
of difficulties but it’s not. We expect this one and that one and it didn’t
happen so we end up being frustrated. Don’t get me wrong. Expectations are good
as long as you’re expecting from God. God loves to meet our expectations for
Him. When we started to expect from people, that’s the very moment we start to
be frustrated.
I’m glad our CI
isn’t perfect. Because from that, I learned to expect from God on how He will
show His glory despite of all the imperfections.
· The red light of Busy-ness
As a staff, there
are moments that you will miss some sessions, you will eat and sleep either
late or not at all and other things that you’re not experiencing before (high
five to other CI Staffs out there). You’re tired, hungry and not yet sleeping
but still, you have to continue what you’re doing and no one can stop you until
CI is totally finished. There are moments that you will feel over fatigued and
you lose temper easily especially if things are not going the way you want it
to be.
Want to know the
solution for this? Pray together. It really works. Thank God that it’s not too
late for us to realize that.
· The red light of Fear
and Discouragements
Since first night,
I really feel pressured because I’m going to lead the last night. Seriously,
it’s really a pressure to lead hundreds of young people towards worshipping
God. I mean, it’s a great privilege for me but a great responsibility at the
same time. I feel I can’t. I lost all my self-confidence and start to doubt
myself. “Ako ba talaga ang will Mo for this, Lord? Pwede naman pong iba na
lang, kaya naman nila, sila na lang po.” (“Do you really want me for this,
Lord? Other people can do this, please just choose them.”) Every after big
night, my mind says “Sila tapos na sa kaba, ako ilang araw pa,” (“They are
already finished with the pressures but I’m not. I have more days to feel it,”)
and I had arguments with God over and over again.
Then it came one
session that tackled about vision. God made me remember the dream He planted in
my heart when I was seven years old -- I wanted to be one of the lead vocals in
Hillsong Philippines! Yes, sounds funny but I dreamt about that. I imagine
myself singing and leading many people into worship. With that, God encouraged
me to believe in myself that we can do this because that’s also a fulfillment
of my childhood dream. I will sing as if I’m the lead vocals and worship as if
my team is like Hillsong.
Throughout the
day, I experienced discouragements and start to argue with God again. I stated
all my excuses for God to choose other people. I even stated, “Lord, puyat ako.
Mahirap kumanta. Baka pwede po iba na lang.” But God answered me through giving
me an opportunity to lead the execoms and staffs into worship at 1 o’clock in
the morning during our quiet time together. I just said, “Lord, grabe Ka
talaga.”
After our quiet
time, I felt the calmness. I learned to entrust everything to God and realized
that oppressions were coming because God’s gonna do something great.
That last night,
everything went great according to His will. He intervened; He used me like
never before. That night was a breakthrough.
And that
breakthrough was actually a green light for me. A green light of vision God
gave for me. Three years ago, my prayer partner shared to me a vision that God
made her see. She had a vision about me with my hand raised high, leading hundreds
of people towards worshipping God. Three years ago, it doesn’t make any sense.
To be honest, I and my prayer partner already forgot about that. It’s been
years anyway. But God made us remember. My prayer partner was supposed to take
a picture for one of our guitarists when she accidentally captured my image
with my left hand raised.
While she was
browsing her gallery that night, she thought that a particular image was
familiar. Feels like the left and right hemisphere of her brain said ‘yes’ at
the same time. Then, she remembered the vision. The moment she shared to me
this green light of vision, I felt the spirit of God that made me cry and my
heart beat faster. That moment was the time that God commanded me to just close
my eyes and raise my hand.
God is really
faithful. No matter how long and how far, as long as He promised, whether you
remember it or not, it will surely happen. For God is the first and the most
powerful red light beater ever that no one can stop Him in giving a green light
for His promises. :)
